Joy is different from happiness in that it is deeper and larger somehow.  It is closer in its essence to contentment, but instead of coming forth after an achievement, joy seems to come forth during moments of communion with nature, love, and beauty–when you feel as if you’re one with everything.

-Karla McLaren from “The Language of Emotions: What your Feelings are Trying to Tell You”

*The following is an excerpt from the book “Dreaming of Cupcakes: A Food Addict’s Shamanic Journey into Healing:”

I used to think that joy was a state that I could and should maintain at all times if I were to live a truly happy life.  Today, I know that this is a persistent illusion and I am naturally skeptical of anyone who claims to be able to blow rainbows out of their asses continuously.  That may sound jaded or harsh, however, I feel that we do ourselves a disservice when we hold this up as the ultimate goal in life.  Chasing one emotion at the exclusion of the rest is a dangerous, lonely, and isolating venture because it prevents us from being with our emotions as they naturally occur. 

This inability to be intimate and present with ourselves is at the root of all addictions.  This robs us of our humanity and the ability to experience the range of what it means to be human.  Gaining mastery in life requires us to know how to navigate and understand what our emotions are telling us.  We can only do that if we get to know all the emotions and if we are willing to let all of them go when we’ve learned the lessons they bring.  Emotions are meant to flow, not stay stuck or suspended inside of us.  Eventually, all dams break if the force of water is great enough.  Holding on to joy, sadness, or any other emotion is not a wise way to live.

…After years of engaging in ceremony and healing work, I started to feel joy more regularly.  This was not something I could manufacture or create at will, but something that arose in moments when I was truly present to beauty.  Going after all the places within myself where I was at war with life on a regular basis started to change my inner landscape.  I regained the connection with myself that I’d lost in childhood and I started to feel more unity with other humans.  Joy started to arise when I was truly able to be present with another person–even in moments of suffering.  This was perplexing at first until I realized that being present with suffering eventually leads to the truth: that we are always connected to all of life.  Remembering that is the key to joy.

As much as I pray that the human species will evolve past suffering one day, for today, it’s part of our reality. And so is joy. I cultivate joy in my life by regularly and consciously engaging in things that put me in creative flow: nature walks, playing with children, dancing, singing, drumming, physical affection, writing, reading, learning new things, heart to heart communication with others, ceremony, teaching what I’ve learned, prayer, meditation, and experiencing the creative works of others.  Recognizing beauty is a practice and a choice each of us can make a commitment to. We can do this most easily when we do not deny or stuff the suffering but rather allow it to move out of us wherever we find it.  In this way, we keep our connection to Spirit clear and strong. Of course, the things that bring out joy in you may be different. I ask you these questions: What gets you up out of bed every morning?  What do you live for?

Jennifer Engrácio has been a student of shamanism since 2005. Jennifer is a certified teacher who has worked with children in many different education settings since 2001. She is a certified shamanic coach, reiki master, and lomilomi practitioner; in addition, she runs Spiral Dance Shamanics. Originally from Vancouver, Canada, she now lives in Calgary, Canada with her life partner.